FRIDAY

Well today we arrived at the orphanage and couldn't find Sasha anywhere.  Little did we know that this was "shower day."  So we waited and waited and finally realized that he was in his sleeping building, taking a shower.  By the way, this is not a shower shower....but more of a bathing facility.When we saw him, we did not get much of a reception.  He seemed a little distant again. 

We followed his class over to the playground and Jeff and I were allowed to play with him for a little bit.  We still had a spy with us from the orphanage, but in our distant sight.  Jeff played basketball again with Sasha and later some friends came to join him.  We played soccer and baseball too.  He was acting up and we experienced some major behavioral problems today.

I used to tell him stories at home, so I began a story for him as he was kicking the soccer ball very angrily at the wall.  I said, "Once upon a time, one little boy named Jeffrey Sasha Nyman came to America and became the greatest soccer player to ever live."  He said, "mama, no America!

I always freak out when this happens and think to myself...".OH CRAP!!!  Here we go again."  Jeff remains calm and always says, "He doesn't mean that." 

Well, Ksenia joined us shortly after that little exchange that I had with Sasha.  She had a long talk with him and we discovered that he is being told by teachers and or kids that once the Americans own you or adopt you that they will beat you and kill you.  Ksenia assured him that these kids are lieing to him and that they are just jealous.  He needed her to assure him and his behavior did change once she was able to explain to him, that this is not true.  She told him that we have had him at our house twice now and that he knows us and not to believe anything he hears here at the orphanage.  She asked him if he thinks we beat Kelsey, karley and Kyle.  He said, "No!" 

We brought a basketball and soccer ball to pump up for the kids at the orphanage.  Interestingly enough, Sasha is not willing to share with the other kids if he is not participating.  We convinced him a few times to let them play with the balls and that we want him to LOVE PEOPLE...not LOVE THINGS!  We then reflected on the fact, that since he has not had parents since the age of 3, he has probably never owned anything that was actually JUST HIS!  He can become a little possessive I think because he shares his clothes and everything else at the orphanage.  I remember him saying this summer these exact words, "Mama, JUST SASHA'S."  Meaning, is this just for me mama.....because I want it just to be mine.  So sad and difficult to understand how to proceed from here. WeI have a lot to learn about how this little boy's heart has been hurt.  I am excited about bringing him home, but I realize that the challenges ahead of us are great!

It truly is a battle...we feel like we start over every single day again.  It is tiring and depressing honestly!  That was one of the reasons that we were so disappointed that court was not today, because Sasha is  wearing down.  We have Saturday to spend with him, then we are not allowed to go to the orphanage on Sunday.  Monday we will be with him and then 11:30 our time on Tuesday is court.  We will have about 15 minutes with him once they bring him into the courtroom to prepare him.

Jeff and I did our devotion today and guess what....again, it was exactly what I needed to hear.  It was on "self pitty."  I must confess that yesterday I had a huge pitty party for myself and Jeff.  I couldn't get out of that "self pitty" mode.  Thankfully my perspective is different today.  God's mercies are new every morning...right Laurie?  :)  Yesterday I was thinking, omg, we are never going to leave this place....we are here for no reason....Sasha will probably not even go home with us.  Today, God has given me peace and hope and a thankful spirit again.  He has shown me that when we are weak, He is at our strongest.  Even when I make a fool out of myself and act like a child kicking and screaming that He loves us and will always be waiting for us to come back to Him...asking for forgiveness and restoration. 

I know that God has some amazing plans for Sasha's life or the enemy would not be fighting so hard to keep him from coming with us to America.  Satan is not happy that there will be another saved soul who will speak God!  God is so good though and always prevails!

I love Joshua 1:9...."Be strong and of good courage;  be not afraid, neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!"

We will fight for Sasha because when we have God's love in us, we are able to accomplish well beyond our limitations of the flesh!  We will not give up and although the journey may be long and difficult, it is all worth it.  Sasha is a little boy who deserves a chance to have a family who loves him.

Thanks for your prayers!
m and j