GREAT DAY!!!

Today was amazing!  Such strides we are making and everything is falling right into place. Today was Sasha's physical and we also got his visa at the U.S. Embassy.  Wow, that was something.  It was tight security and bullet proof doors. 

We were in and out of the U.S. Embassy office in 15 minutes.  Our facilitators have this down to a science.  It was zippidy doo da!  No kidding, we walked right to the "adoption office" and had already filled out all of the paperwork so we zipped through quickly. Sasha's physical took a little longer though because he had to be examined and unfortunately had to have a rubella immunization.  It was everything I could do not to get on the floor to start kicking and screaming.  But honestly we realized that they would never let him out of the country without having this immunization.  It was freaky when they pulled the "potion" out of the refridgerator and showed us the expiration date on the bottle.  Ukraine is not quite where we are in medical advances, so we just looked at the bottle and smiled and said, "Help us Jesus!"  Youch!  They came right at his arm with some force behind that needle.  Wow, Sasha was brave, but mama yelled "ouch."  They also asked if we noticed any other problems with Sasha and I told them that he is a little bit crazy.  Everyone laughed but I think we all are a little bit nuts.  haha  Many times when Sasha does something funny Jeff and I say, "You crazy Ukrainian."  He says, "You crazy Americans."  haha.

The rest of the day was fun too.  We went to the mall and shopped for a remote control car.  Mr. Freddy gave him some Ukrainian money the other day so he wanted to go shopping.  Funny enough though when we got to the mall he didn't have his wallet. (Learned it from you PawPaw ..haha) Well we bought the car for him and when we got home he found his wallet and said, "Pay back papa."  So sweet! 

When we went to dinner  (at the same place) we had so much fun because the waitress remembered him and she let him translate again.. She smiled the entire time and let him be "the big boy." I'm pretty sure they were flirting with each other.  She was a beautiful young teenager she thought he was adorable.  When we paid, Sasha said, "Papa hurry, give me wallet."  He whipped that wallet out like he was in charge and was the head of the household.  We had lots of laughs today!  He also said the sweetest little thing.  He said, "Mama, I like you say to Sasha....you so cute Sasha."  haha.. He also loves when we call him a litle boy.
The poor boy never had a childhood so he is gonna have one now darnet!

We also bought him circus ticket for tomorrow nights circus.  Little did we know that when we got home he said he had been to the circle lots of times.  Oh dang...we could have been very happy without the thrill of the circus smell....oh well, it will be lots of fun....Jeff just loves the crowds! :)

Tomorrow we go back to pick up paperwork and then we are done!  It's truly hard to believe that I'm actually saying those words.  We will have lots of free time tomorrow and then go to the circus at 7:00 and then come right home to get into bed because we need to get up at 3:30 a.m. to make our flight.  We will have a full day of flying on Saturday.

This amazing journey is coming to and end.we are just in awe of all that God has done to give us faith to carry on.  I know that we only have a few years with Sasha and didn't get to have the first 11 years of his life but we will relish every minute of our time with him.  We are so thankful for this precious little boy. 

He really is sweet and although very street smart, seems to know right from wrong.  He kept telling papa and I to say these word in Russian.  It was "Coch de la."  After a while of him laughing  at our repeating these words, we thought this must be some Russian cuss words. He was cracking up....but then he told us it means "poop poop."  (For all of you who speak Russian, you can confirm that for me later..ha)  Shew!  He is very worldly but so very tender hearted!  He has a huge heart just like our Kyle!

Well, there is no way that any of this would have ever taken place if our sweet children were not so suppportive of us traveling to get their little brother.  It has been so hard on our family to be apart so many miles and for so many weeks.  Also Bobo and Poppy, Laurie and my Mom and Dad have been amazing.  Our parents have done laundry, cleaned, counseled our children and have worked tirelessly around the clock. Not sure how we will ever be able to thank them enough for all they've done!

Also,  I hesitate to point out just one or two friends, but we have to tell you how amazing the Perrills have been to us.  All of our friends are so dear and supportive, but Brenda Perrill has arranged and cooked so many meals for our family in our absence.  She has checked on our children and carried us through so much.  Thanks to Peter, we had everything imaginable packed.  He made sure no stone was unturned in the "being prepared" area.  We love you so much family and friends!  Thank you so much to everyone who has prepared a meal for our family.  It has made life so much easier on them! 

Going back out to get more food.  Sasha said again, "I hungry."  His scrawny frame will fill out quickly I feel sure.  We miss you all so much and can't wait to come home! 
love to you all,
m and j 

On the homestretch now!

Well, it was a very busy, exhausting day!  We got so much done and are right on schedule, thank goodness!   God worked out so many details and we are one step closer to bringing Sasha home to America to be our son.   Jeff went to meet someone from the passport office who met him outside for a signing.  It was quite funny Jeff said, but some kind of transaction took place and about 2 hrs later had a passport.  Wow, not sure how everything goes down here, but just happy it all happened! 

We were headed to Lutugano to get the pension money that the government gives to orphans.  Then found out that we really didn't have time to go all the way back to the town where the orphanage was located.  The government saves money for the orphans evidentally, but when you adopt a child, you have to give it back to the orphanage.  tricky how that works. ha!  So now the region will just keep the money where he was located. 

We had a long 3 hour drive from Lugansk to Donestk.  Then we grabbed a quick flight for Jeff, me and Sasha and Ksenia and Tonya our amazing translators!  We barely made it but arrived just in time.  We flew to Kiev, about an hour flight, then rode another 45 minutes to our apartment.  Jeff and I were thinking, oh good, we are settled in for the night.....but as soon as the suitcases were inside, Sasha said,  "I HUNGRY."
He has a major sugar addiction and wants to eat chocolate from the moment he wakes up til the moment he goes to bed.  No kiddeing!  He found some sugar cubes in the cabinets here in our apartment....he brought them to us and said, "THESE BEAUTIFUL."  We cracked up and I said, "Oh good Sasha, you need more sugar."  He laughed but may be crying by the time we get back to America.  I am doing my best to wean him off of all the sugar. I told him he reminds me of Spider Man because he is climbing the walls all the time.

I have the sweetest husband in the world.  He's such an amazing papa.  We read to Sasha every chance we get and right now Jeff is reading/singing How Much Is That Doggie In The Window.  Wow, at least that what it sounds like.  haha

Sasha is aboslutely adorable.  He has not lost his temper once and he continues to amaze us with his loving sweet gestures.  We are loving our one on one time with him so much.  He got quiet at dinner tonight and then I realized that he had been looking at pictures on my phone of the orphanage.  He saw pictures of all of his friends and Babushka.  Very emotional to even think about.  We have had so many amazing bonding moments and our time with him has been invaluable.  When we get home, life will get busy again and he will not have our attention 24/7.  It truly has blessed our hearts to be with this sweet little boy day in and day out. We are so joyful that God chose us to be his "forever family."  I know that God has already equipped him with everything that he needs to succeed in America.  I almost don't want to "americanize" him.  I am so excited for the opportunities that may come Sasha's way and we hope that he will tell the story when he is ready....and give God all the glory.  I know life will not be easy for him.  He does not want to go to school because I think he is afraid that others will make fun of him.  I will homeschool him for a bit until he feels confident and ready.  He has so much to give and we know that God will use him in a mighty way.

Sasha's english is coming along so well.  When we were visiting him at the orphanage he had totally forgotten all of his english....now he is speaking in full sentences already.  On the way to the restaurant he said, "Sasha no speak Russian, only English."  We had heard that they do not want to remember anything about Ukrain and will often not even speak Russian or Ukrainian if someone in America speaks to them.
It was so cute at the restaurant because he ordered for us in Russian.  He is usually embarressed of us I think because we stand out so much.  We are so freakin' american looking.  But tonight our waitress thought he was cute and he knew it so he would ask us questions in english and then translate to her.  I wish we could keep his Russian  and Ukrainian language but that will be completely up to him if he wants to continue with it.

We are going to get his physical tomorrow and the U.S. Embassy.  Another busy day.  We found out that the circus is only two blocks from us so we may try to surprise him with tickets.  I know he would love it.  He is like a newborn, experiencing everything for the first time.  He is intrigued by the smallest things that we take for granted.

Thanks for prayers!  We are so tired but God continues to give us strength.  We feel so blessed and thankful that God has chosen us to be this wonderful boy's parents.  I know that Kelsey, karley and Kyle are so anxious for our return with their brother.  This has been just as hard on them to wait.  Also our sweet Bobo and Poppy.  Wow, what would we have done without them.  They are running everything at our house in our absence.  Jeff's parents are so sweet to be there for us in every way possible. 

We are so excited to come back to America.  Two more days of running around for our official documents
and then a full day of flights and we will back to the good ole US of A!  .
love to you all,
m and j

JEFFREY SASHA NYMAN OFFICIALLY

Well, today was just too much for words.  It's hard to express how elated our hearts feel..  The joy in our hearts is overflowing.  Jeff and I cried and laughed so much today.  We have Sasha with us now and he is a complee delight.  There is a newness in hm that just relevates a peace within.  He is so happy and wants to hold our hands all the time.   It was a very emotional day but absolutely beautiful in every way.

When we went to his hometown where he was born, Ksenia said that we did not have time to stop by and see his babushka.  I made my pouty face with a big bottom lip but nothing seemed to help.  So we left after we got his birth certificate and I.D. #. 

Before we actually left to do anything this morning, Jeff and I were talking that maybe Sasha's babushka was close to our age..  OMG, that sort of freaked me out because I was afraid that she may say to Sasha, "They can't be your parents, they are too old."  haha  As it turns out, she was born in 1942, so she is a tad older than us.  Since we were not going to be able to visit his grandmother, I started looking around at every 70 year old woman in his hometown and thought, "That could be her....that could be her."  I would throw out a "Sasha Lebedev" now and then to see if they would respond.  When they didn't turn around, I would say to Jeff, that's not her...that's not her.  haha....I was so devasted and sad that we were not going to be able to meet her.

When we got to the orphanage we got all of the paperwork signed quickly and we were told that Sasha's grandmother was waiting for us.  WOW!!!!  God continues to amaze us!!!We arrived at about 12:30 and she had been sitting waiting for us since 8:00 a.m. to make sure that she didn't miss us.  As soon as we walked into the room, she hugged Jeff and I and began to cry.  Jeff and I cried a lot and told her how much we love Sasha and that he will be well loved.  We also told her through our tears, (and translator) that we love God very much and will teach him all about God.  We assured her that he is safe with us and gave her many details about our family.  When we presented her with the photo album she began to cry again.  She enjoyed looking at the pictures as Sasha explained who each person was in the picture in Russian. When I think about how difficult that must have been for her to come today, it truly blows my little mind!  She was so brave to come!  Her love for Sasha was the overriding motivation that made her come all the way just to meet us and say good bye to him..  She kept telling us how happy she was through her tears.  We asked her lots of questions and she gave us lots of answers.

Then we had our little "going away party" for Sasha and the 5th grade class.  It was rather uneventful, while they made Sasha stand in front of the classroom.  He can be very shy and does not like a lot of attention, so he was not able to speak to the classroom.  Some of the children stood up to say good bye and good luck in America.  His grandmother watched with tears of joy as he said his good byes.  There were not many hugs, just waves and "duck spit on ya" which is "good bye."

We did not get to see him say good bye to Alena, his little "girl who is a friend."  haha  He's too young for a girlfriend!  Anyway, we bought her several things and he said that she was very sad when he said good bye to her.  They would not let Jeff into the building with Sasha to say good bye to Alena.  She wrote him a sweet note which I believe says, "I love you," at the bottom.  So sweet but so sad!

Afterwards, we went to lunch with his babushka and Sasha was very sweet to listen to her stories.  He began to get a little anxious after a few hours, but when she went to the bathroom we told him the cold hard truth.  We told him to give her lots of love today because this very possibly could be the last time that he ever saw her. WOW, our poor little boy has had to swallow so many difficult situations in his 11 years.

We also asked her about her health and she told us that it was not very good.  My sweet husband gave her some cash and she was sooooooo grateful with lots more tears!  She was in so grateul and cried with joy. 

We went to dinner to celebrate and watched him eat and eat!  When we came back to our appartment we played and laughed and bonded closer than ever!  He is now sleeping on the couch and looks so peaceful!
He wanted music to be played when he layed in Jeff's arms....I put some Ukrainian music on for him and he said, "No Ukrainian, American."  He seems ready to begin his new life in America. :)

Once again, we are exhausted and have lots more running around to do tomorrow.. The BEST part though is that we have our son and we are almost done with this crazy adoption process! We have so much to be thankful for and have seen God's hand in every area of our life.  We are blessed to have an opportunity to love another child and to welcome another wonderful son into our life. Children are God's greatest blessings!  It's hard to believe that we now have four kids....what a gift! Thank you for your amazing prayers and love.  Jeff and I feel like we can breathe again!  Thank you Lord for continueing to carry us through thie storm!  love you, m and j

BACK AGAIN TO GET OUR SWEET SASHA!

Well we had a very long exhausting day of travel from Charlotte to Washington DC with a 3 hour layover and then on to Munich and a 5 hour layaover and then finaly on to Donetsk, Ukraine.  After a 2 hour drive from the Donetsk airport, we finally landed in our apartment thankfully.  It was about 24 hours of travel altogether....that's pretty long for old people like Jeff and me. ha.

The funniest part of the day was when Jeff asked our driver how much longer until we arrive in Donetsk.  The driver said 20 minutes and Jeff looked at him square in the eyes and said, "piss piss."  This must be some kind of universal language between men, because our non-english-speaking driver said, "No problem and pulled right over on the side of the road."  JEFF WAS THRILLED!  Dagum, the whole world's a toilet for men.  I had to go too but no piss piss for me, thank you!  Jeff got back in the car and said, "Spaseeba, that was great!"  hahahaha

We met with Ksenia about our plans for tomorrow and she informed us that she has THE COURT DECREE, which says that Sasha is approved for adoption, OFFICIALLY!!!  She came a day earlier to make sure we had this document  for tomorrow.  She also told us that Sasha's Babushka called the orphanage today and wanted to know when he was leaving.  Wow, word travels fast in these small Ukrainian towns. 

Tomorrow, our plan is to leave early in the morning to Sasha's "hometown" to get his birth ceritificate re-issued in his new name...JEFFREY SASHA NYMAN.  Can I hear an Hallejuah!  :)  After we have the paperwork in hand we will visit Babushka Lebedev and hopefully have a wonderful visit with her.  I am so sad that Sasha will not be with us to say good bye.  We made her a little photo album .(thank you Kim Marshall for the idea)  It will be a very bittersweet day for everyone.  As far as we know right now, Sasha is his grandma'sonly living relative.  That makes me want to cry.  I wish I would have bought a Russian Bible for her but I totally forgot about it during our 12 days home.  I will try to get one to her somehow.  I want to tell her that we will take very good care of Sasha and that we are her family now. We want her to know
that because we have God's love in our heart, that we can love others so easily and that we are all brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I hope she knows Jesus, but if not, hope she knows Him after tomorrow. We are excited, but a little nervous too about breaking her heart!

After getting the new birth certificate and visitng with grandma, we will go to the orphanage with some cake and drinks and have a quick "going away" party.  Of course Jeff and I will be out of there in lightning speed, but we will need to allow Sasha to say good bye to everyone.  Unfortunately for him, he will most likely never see his friends again.  That also makes me want to cry.  He is coming to America to start a whole new life.  New family, new friends, NEW EVERYTHING!!!

Tomorrow, we will take him some new clothes to put on because he is not allowed to take anything away from the orphanage...as he truly owns nothing.  I hope they will allow him to bring the turtle stuffed animal that we gave to him and also the photo album of pictures of him with our family.

Ksenia also told us that Sasha used someone's phone last week to call her.  He said, "Tell mama and papa that I said hi and that I love them."  He wanted to know if we were really coming back because evidentally some people have told him that we were not returning and that it was just a joke.  Can you imagine telling this to a little child who is waiting for his mama and papa to pick him up? 

Well, my eyes are getting very heavy.  I am just in awe that we are sitting here and waiting for one more "wake up" until we get to get our little boy.  Okay, now I AM crying.  We will have him with us the rest of the week when we fly to Kiev and do all of the other legal paperwork.  It is God's grace and His mercy that allowed us to press on through these difficult trials. 

okay, i'm drugged...nighty nighty...got to grt some sleep
thanks for of your pyarers,
We ccouldn't have gotten this far without you...
love to you all,
m and )

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

Well we got up early this morning because we wanted to get Sasha a present in the open air market. We picked up a cool MP3 player with games on it for him to enjoy in our absence.  We were able to give it to him after court as we said our good byes.  We told him to not worry if it gets stolen...WHICH IT WILL, but that Santa Clause is coming soon and he could get another one. 

We waited for Nastya (Ksenia's sister) to arrive by  train.  She traveled all night, 15 hours from Kiev to accompany us to court.  She was our translator and prepared us perfectly for the hour that we spent in our hearing. Nastya and Ksenia are the most amazing young ladies who love God and want to help these children find families!

When we arrived, Sasha was already there in his little blue suit, sitting  with the lawyer from the orphanage and the deputy secretary from children services.  Bless his heart....he was very serious but seemed to be ready.  When we arrived, we got our hugs and Nastya sat next to him to prepare him for the hearing.  Not exactly sure what she said to him, but he said, "dah, dah, dah."  yes, yes, yes!

Finally, we were called into the small room with the judge, prosecutor for Lutugano, 2 jury members, and the secretary or court clerk who took all the notes by hand.  The judge called the court to order and the proceeding began.

He first asked Jeff and I to state our names, birthdate and address.  Then he allowed me to sit down while he asked Jeff several questions.  Some of the questions were about education, health of parents and siblings, work history, details about our home and income.  He also asked if we had health insurance and proceeded to tell us that Ukraine did not have any health insurance.  He also asked Jeff to tell him about our other children.  After Jeff answered the question about our children and their ages, etc, he said , "And why do you NEED another child."  Jeff's response was perfect....."He said, "We have a love for children and our family has a lot of love to give and we are so blessed and want to bring Sasha to America to give him a loving family."  He also asked Jeff if he had a problem since Sasha was Ukrainian.  He said that Ukrainians are different than Americans....wow, he was wondering off into an area we didn't want to go.  He also asked Jeff why we didn't adopt in America....did they not allow us? Jeff said, "They're all God's children, no matter where they are from.."  Yes I was so proud of Jeff! 

Then it was my turn, same questions basically, as if I didn't hear Jeff's answers.  The judge told us that he was part of the Soviet Union and that Russia was a powerful country.  All and all the judge was so nice and as the questions went on, he said that he gives us credit for coming half way across the world to adopt a child. He said that even if Ukrainans had money, I don't think they would go to America to adopt.

The judge then asked the two jury members if they had any questions.  The one elderly lady said, "Do you believe in God?"  Jeff said, "Oh yes, we love God very much and are Christians."

Then it was Sasha's turn.....omg, what a brave little boy.  He had to stand up by himself as the judge asked him questions.  He said to Sasha, do you have any family memebers?  Sasha reponded that his grandma came to visit him one time and told him that he should go to America to live with his mama and papa.  He also asked Sasha how he will learn English.  Sasha said, "Mama will teach me at home."   Then he said something about why do you want to leave the Ukraine.  Sasha said he wanted to live in America with his mama and papa.

It was an hour of sweaty palms but we felt your prayers.  God got us through it and then we had to wait for about 10 minutes for the court to deliberate.  When we were called back into the small room the judge went through some formalities and asked us what our intentions were one more time.  We had to state that we wanted to adoopt Sasha as our son and take him back to America.

Wow!  It wasa amazing and so joyous!  The moment of truth!  God brought us through it and although we were nervous we truly felt a peace.

Then it was on for the ride of our lifel.  We travelled two long hours to the airport in fog.  Jeff truly almost didn't make it.  He was in the front seat but that didn't seem to help.  We were zigzagging around cars, passing on a two lane road and it was dark and foggy.  We could barely see 20 feet in front of us and when we were passing semi trucks we both truly wondered if we would ever see our airplane.  It was wild!!!!!
There could have been a car headed our way, but oh well, let's just see what happens. ha....  Needless to say we were so happy to get to the airport safely and Jeff is still shaking his head.  wow....what a day!

Finally we got on the plane and I talked Jeff through the three hours to Munich as he was still in shock. haha Then we arrived in Munich and the fun began again.  Our driver was going about 140 kilometers on a 2 lane curvy road to get us to our hotel.  If Jeff ever drove this way I would truly kill him.  World travelers we are not!  Lord please take us back to good ole' Rock Hill.  

Gotta go talk to kids on skype...love to you all,
m and j  

Monday

Praise the Lord we had an awesome day with Sasha.  Ksenia thinks that they have stopped harrassing him and maybe that is why he is beginning to act more like himself. We had to stay inside because it was cold, dreary and wet outside.  He was hilarious today and kept saying,"Papa, down up."  He was trying to say upside down.  haha.  He loves when Papa plays with him and picks him up over his head. 

He can be such a little stinker but then can turn around and give a hug that will melt our hearts.  When we were leaving he said, "mama,"  I looked back and he did the symbol that Jeff and i always use to show him we love him....so we don't have to say it outloud in front of the other boys.  Point to your eyes, make a heart and they point to him.....yes, he did it today on the way out.  OMG, I feel like we have made such strides.

We are beginning to get excited about coming home, but we have court still in the morning.  We will have court at 11:30 a.m. our time, 4:30 in the morning in South Carolina. 

We have been told that some of the questions that the judge will ask out of curiosity are, "Why do you want to adopt such an old child?"  "Have you been affected by the bad economy in the u.s.? "How can you afford to adopt a child?"  "How are you going to teach him English and educate him?"  We were also told to bring a  photo album with pictures of Sasha's room and a couple other rooms in our house.  They are just baffled that anyone would want another child.  Most people can only afford one child here....so this is so foreign for them.

We will have a 10 day waiting period until we can return back to Ukraine.  We hope to fly out next Sunday and begin our paperwork on Tuesday, as the birth certificate place is closed on Monday.  We will be able to get Sasha after a small party at his orphanage on Tuesday.  I am sure this will be hard for Sasha to say good bye.  It's truly hard to believe that he will probably never see these people again.....except for some of the children that are going to be adopted throughout the U.S.  We will then run around and go to Kiev and have a physical for him and other things done at the U.S. Embassy.

We were told that he will be very frustrated for a short time with the language barrier, but that by 3-4 months he will be speaking english fluently.  I am planning on homeschooling him through December but we may check about sending him to WCCS with the other kids next semester.  Sasha loves being with other kids but I know that he fears being made fun. God will show us the path to take as we begin to
"let life happen" at home.

We hope to be done with court and in our taxi at noon.  We have to go through customs and be on a flight that leaves at 3:55.  The drive from Lutugano to Donetsk is about 2 hours.  We are staying at a hotel with a decent bed in Munich tomorrow night.  We will arrive back into Rock Hill the following day at about 4:00 p.m.

Jeffy broke down and bought me a pair of fake ughs today...so my feet are toasty.  Little does he know that I may sleep in them.  haha.  It's truly hard to fall asleep at night when your feet are so cold!

We are so excited and anxious about tomorrow morning's appearance in court.  After the hearing, we will quickly say good bye to Sasha and dash out the door to catch our flight.  We have felt God's presence all along and we know that God will give Sasha the courage he needs tomorrow to tell the judge that he wants to come to America to live with the crazy Nymans.

I love this:
Today, I choose love.....I will love god and all the things that God loves... I CHOOSE LOVE!

today, I choose kindness.....I will be kind to all for God has been so kind to me.  I will speak softly when harshly spoken to.  I will help the weak and the helpless.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  To these I commit my day.  If I succeed I will give thanks....if I fail, I will seek His grace once again.  And when this day is done, i will place my head on the pillow and rest.

We can't wait to be back home!  Thank you sweet family and friends who have lifted us up in prayer.  Our first chapter of our journey is almost over.  We are so thankful and can't stop talking about how we have such amazing friends and family.

Love to you all,
m and j

sunday

Today is sunday and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  Mostly because I wanted to go to our wonderful church and hear THE WORD from Bill or Shelton.  Not only did I want to hear God's word but I wanted to worship and sing.  We are so weary today....stayed in our place most of the day, but went out to get some groceries and had lunch with ksenia.  We truly feel like a prisoner in our own place.  We are so ready to come home and hours seem like years here.

Although we sleep a lot, we are tired of the same 4 walls and are ready to go home to see our children.  We literally are counting the hours until our court date.  We miss our kids and chaotic life so much.  Remind me of this later when I am complaining of laundry and cleaning. :)

I am doing some knittig and may have to knit us a blanket.  We are so cold and even though the sun shines some days we can't seem to get our feet warm.  Jeff is reading a lot and we are both checking in with Jack Bauer on 24.  He makes us feel like we don't have any problems at all, since he usually is saving the world from a nuclear attack of some sort.

Not many words today...just a word from Priscilla Shirer.  She is Tony Evans daughter and wrote the most beautiful piece just for us I think....becuase I have read it three times.  You need to read this outloud with conviction.:  It's called He is the First and the Last:

He is the first and the last, the Beginning and the end.  He is the keeper of Creation and the crator of all.  He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.  He always was and He always is and He always will be....unmoved, unchanged, undefeated, and never undone.

He was bruised but brought healing.  He was pierced and eased pain.  He was persecuted and brought freedom, He wasedead and brought life.  He is risen and brings power.  He reigns and brings peace.

The world can't understand him, the armies can't defeat Him, the schools can't explain Him, and the Leaders can't ignore Him.  Herod couldn't kill Him, the Pharisees couldn't confuse Him, and the people couldn't hold Him. 

Nero couldn't crush Him, Hitler couldn't silence Him, The New age can't replace Him, and "Oprah" can't explain Him away.  He is light, love, longevity, and the Lord.  He is Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.  He is HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, MIGHTY, POWERFUL, and PURE.

His ways are right, His word is eternal, His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me.

He is my Savior, He is my guide, and He is my Peace!  He is my Joy. He is my comfort, He is my Lord and He rules my life.

Serve Him becuase His bond is love, His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life. 

I follow Him becuase He is the wisdom of the wise, the power of the powerful, the ancient of days, the rules of rulers, the leader of leaders, the overseer of the overcomers, and is to come.  And if that seems impressive to you, try this on for size......

His goal is a relationship with ME!  He will never leave me, never forsake me, never mislead me, never forget me, never overlook me, and never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up!  When I fail, He forgives me!  When I am weak, He is strong!  When I am lost, He is the way!

When I am afraid, He is my courage.  When I stumble, He steadies me.  When I am hurt, He heals me!  When I am broken, He mends me.  When I am blind, He leads me.  When I am hungry, He feeds me.

When I face trials, He is with me!  When I face persecution, He shileds me!  When I face problems, he comforts me!  When I face loss, He prvides for me!  When I face Death, He carries me Home!  He is everything for everybody, everywhere, every time and every way.  He is God!!!!!  He is faithful!  I am His and He is mine!  My Father in heaven can whip the father of this world.  So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure (Here in Ukraine) understand this....He said it and that settles it!  God is in control.  I am on His side, and that means all is well with my soul!  Everyday is a blessing for God is!

I wish I could memorize this...becuase this is so comforting! 
Only two and a half more days!  God will sustain us.
love to you all,
m and j

saturday

Today was a pretty good day.  It was cleaning day again.  EVERY STINKIN DAY IS CLEANING DAY at the orphanage!  This was the first day that we noticed that one little girl wasn't mopping the floors in the schoolroom.  She is punished daily by this chore and uses a sweater on a wooden stick for her mop.  Whenever we see her she makes this face at us like, "Oh well, I got in trouble again."

Sasha played basketball and soccer with us and we enjoyed being around him for about 3 hours.  His shoes come off often because they are way too big for him, but he keeps tying them around his ankles to keep them on.  When jeff was playing basketball with him Jeff looked at me and said, "I have a lot of work to do."  haha....Sasha is an incredible soccer player but his basketball skills are lacking a bit.  Mostly because the orphanage didn't have a basktball until we brought one.  Jeff said, "Sasha, in America, do you want me to be your basketball coach?"  Before he even got the words out of his mouth, Sasha said, "Yes papa!"

Also his friends call him "Lebedev", his current last name....but when we said, "Hey Lebedev," He said, "No Lebedev, Nyman!"  Of course you know we loved that and it melted our hearts.

We also had an opportunity to skype Alena in Atlanta today.  She was adopted this past summer from the same orphanage by a wonderful family.  She loves America and is learning English very quickly.  Ksenia told us that Sasha said to Alena, "My mama and papa are here right not to adopt me."She told Sasha that she loved America and the sweet Bockish family actually made a video for us to show to Sasha which tells him how much she loves Americat.  We have not viewed it yet, but we can't wait to show him on Monday!  We explained to him that we are not allowed to visit tomorrow but will be back on Monday and will have court on Tuesday. 

We also got the privaledge to hang out with the McVeah boys.  OMG!!!  These are two precious 15 year olds who are best friends and are being adopted in December by a family in Pennsylvania.  They are such amazing boys and are so good to the younger kids.  We are so impressed with them and hope that Sasha will follow in their footsteps as he matures.  They are KILLER soccer players and will be the stars of their varsity team when they arrive in America.

Everyday we take Sasha a Coca Cola and chocolate.  Wow....he has a major sugar buzz everytime we are with him.  Little does he know that we won't be drinking sodas and having sugar at every meal in America.  haha.  I won't switch him to organic right away...haha..I'm all for a little junk food now and then.  When Sasha lived with us this past summer, he usually woke before me and had made eggs and then went straight for the ice cream bars.  I hope we are able to switch him over to some normal eating patterns soon.

Well we went to a restaurant the other night and saw a bong delivered right to a table near us.  No lie!  They use this bong for flavored nicotene and they smoke it right there at the table.  The bongs are huge, about 2 feet in height and have a tube connected which the smoke is inhaled through.  WILD! I know they use this in other countries too, but for us Americans, it was unbelieveable to see.  Of course we associate bongs with pot....but they smoke flavored apple tobacco, etc. You should have seen my face.

The children are so precious at this orphanage.  Sasha's little girl that he likes is named Olena.  Jeff bought an ice cream bar for Olena and her friend.  They said, "SANK U VEDY MUCH!"  Anyway, Sasha is absolutely smitten with her.  I stood by them when they were talking and she just laughs and laughs at whatever he is saying in Russian.  I said, "Sasha, what did you say?"  He said, "It's okay mama."  haha...who knows??  Jeff and I have a hard enough time with the English language let alone the Russian and Ukrainian. 

We are counting down the days.  We are home reading and watching our Jack Bauer save the country.  What would we do without each other, 24, books, and the internet.  Jeff is missing his Saturday football on the couch.  These are some of the little things we miss.....american tv, comfy bed, hot shower,  but mostly our precious children!  Oh Kelsey, karley and Kyle....we're coming soon!

Thanks again for walking on this journey with us.  We hope to have a positive experience in court on Tuesday and then head to Munich to spend the night and then home on Wednesday afternoon.  We can't wait!
love to you all,
m and j

FRIDAY

Well today we arrived at the orphanage and couldn't find Sasha anywhere.  Little did we know that this was "shower day."  So we waited and waited and finally realized that he was in his sleeping building, taking a shower.  By the way, this is not a shower shower....but more of a bathing facility.When we saw him, we did not get much of a reception.  He seemed a little distant again. 

We followed his class over to the playground and Jeff and I were allowed to play with him for a little bit.  We still had a spy with us from the orphanage, but in our distant sight.  Jeff played basketball again with Sasha and later some friends came to join him.  We played soccer and baseball too.  He was acting up and we experienced some major behavioral problems today.

I used to tell him stories at home, so I began a story for him as he was kicking the soccer ball very angrily at the wall.  I said, "Once upon a time, one little boy named Jeffrey Sasha Nyman came to America and became the greatest soccer player to ever live."  He said, "mama, no America!

I always freak out when this happens and think to myself...".OH CRAP!!!  Here we go again."  Jeff remains calm and always says, "He doesn't mean that." 

Well, Ksenia joined us shortly after that little exchange that I had with Sasha.  She had a long talk with him and we discovered that he is being told by teachers and or kids that once the Americans own you or adopt you that they will beat you and kill you.  Ksenia assured him that these kids are lieing to him and that they are just jealous.  He needed her to assure him and his behavior did change once she was able to explain to him, that this is not true.  She told him that we have had him at our house twice now and that he knows us and not to believe anything he hears here at the orphanage.  She asked him if he thinks we beat Kelsey, karley and Kyle.  He said, "No!" 

We brought a basketball and soccer ball to pump up for the kids at the orphanage.  Interestingly enough, Sasha is not willing to share with the other kids if he is not participating.  We convinced him a few times to let them play with the balls and that we want him to LOVE PEOPLE...not LOVE THINGS!  We then reflected on the fact, that since he has not had parents since the age of 3, he has probably never owned anything that was actually JUST HIS!  He can become a little possessive I think because he shares his clothes and everything else at the orphanage.  I remember him saying this summer these exact words, "Mama, JUST SASHA'S."  Meaning, is this just for me mama.....because I want it just to be mine.  So sad and difficult to understand how to proceed from here. WeI have a lot to learn about how this little boy's heart has been hurt.  I am excited about bringing him home, but I realize that the challenges ahead of us are great!

It truly is a battle...we feel like we start over every single day again.  It is tiring and depressing honestly!  That was one of the reasons that we were so disappointed that court was not today, because Sasha is  wearing down.  We have Saturday to spend with him, then we are not allowed to go to the orphanage on Sunday.  Monday we will be with him and then 11:30 our time on Tuesday is court.  We will have about 15 minutes with him once they bring him into the courtroom to prepare him.

Jeff and I did our devotion today and guess what....again, it was exactly what I needed to hear.  It was on "self pitty."  I must confess that yesterday I had a huge pitty party for myself and Jeff.  I couldn't get out of that "self pitty" mode.  Thankfully my perspective is different today.  God's mercies are new every morning...right Laurie?  :)  Yesterday I was thinking, omg, we are never going to leave this place....we are here for no reason....Sasha will probably not even go home with us.  Today, God has given me peace and hope and a thankful spirit again.  He has shown me that when we are weak, He is at our strongest.  Even when I make a fool out of myself and act like a child kicking and screaming that He loves us and will always be waiting for us to come back to Him...asking for forgiveness and restoration. 

I know that God has some amazing plans for Sasha's life or the enemy would not be fighting so hard to keep him from coming with us to America.  Satan is not happy that there will be another saved soul who will speak God!  God is so good though and always prevails!

I love Joshua 1:9...."Be strong and of good courage;  be not afraid, neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!"

We will fight for Sasha because when we have God's love in us, we are able to accomplish well beyond our limitations of the flesh!  We will not give up and although the journey may be long and difficult, it is all worth it.  Sasha is a little boy who deserves a chance to have a family who loves him.

Thanks for your prayers!
m and j

bummer!

It was about 3:00 our time when we received the call that the paperwork was ready but that the judge would not try our case tomorrow.  It looks like he is taking 4 days off for his birthday and will not be back until Tuesday.  Like my sweet friend Amy said...."this sucks!"  That's the only thing that comes to mind right now.  It's just too much for us at the moment....but we trust that God has a plan and has the best outcome for us.

We learned also today that our interpol clearance (clearance that we have not broken any laws in the entire world) just cleared yesterday.  God had a plan when he brought us a month later than our original date....because we would have had to wait 1 1/2 months for the clearance if we came on September 2nd.  OMG....we would have not made it that long!  God's timing!

We had an absolutely awesome day with Sasha.  I have the sweetest husband who played basketball for hours with all fhe boys.  The boys hung on him and loved the attention.  Jeff kept passing the ball to Sasha behind his back, over his head and under his legs.  Sasha would follow suit and pass it the way Jeff passed it to him.  It was precious. 

When the 6 on 6 was being played, kids on Sasha's team would yell out to him, "Lebedev."  That's his Ukrainian last name.  Anyway, Jeff and I started saying, " Pass it Nyman."  He would get a smile on his face...so precious!

We are having to wait for 5 more days and Jeff and I feel like we ran a marathon of 24 miles and someone just said, "Hey you gotta run 5 more miles."  ahhhhhhh!  We have no words and don't know what to say.  I think we are still in  shock.

God must want us to empty ourselves out.  We feel empty.....He wants to have us emptied so only He can fill us up.  We know He must have a lot of work to do on us.  He is pushing us to our limit, but will never give us more than we can handle.  We have so many questions and don't understand .....BUT GOD!  BUT GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!

We had a fun night actually.  We went to a restaurant and this russian couple and their friends had brought a record player from 1935.  They were celebrating a special holiday TODAY and they were dancing and asked us to join them.  Jeff and I were like dumb and dumber and didn't know how to respond. Thank goodness Ksenia was there.  We danced with them and had soooo much fun.  God knew we needed a fun night.  Then the beautiful Russian woman sat down with us and spoke truth to us.  She said, "Today is God's day and we are celebrating Mother Mary watching over all of God's children....we are praying for patience and love for you."  When we told her we were adopting a Ukrainan boy in the orphanage she said, "God will bring him to your wonderful family and will bless you!  She was amazing and we were quite inspired by this woman whom we had never met before.  She said God will bless you and you need to be strong.  God's timing is perfect and speaks to us in many ways!  It was a WOW moment Laurie!

My sweet bible study called tonight by Skype.  I love my friends and feel so blessed!  Thank you Brenda P, Jamie, Brenda J, Mary, Joy, Karen, Natalie, and anyone else who was in the background.  I am honored to be your friend and I hope I can be as good of friend to you as you have been to me.  I appreciate ya'll so much.  It was emotional talking to you but it was pure joy!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for thinking of us.  We love ya'll so much!

Anyway, please continue to pray for Sasha!  He is still getting persecuted and has much to deal with here.  Pray for protection for him.  We have heard so many bad things that are occuring at here....there is true evilness at that orphanage.....God wants us to get our son home!

Thanks for prayers...love to you all,
m and j

Another great day

Today was good!  We arrived a little later than usual so that we wouldn't have to wait so long to see Sasha.  He was very quiet again when he saw us at first.  His culture is very different from ours in that most Ukrainians do not like to bring attention to themselves.  Whenever he is put on the spotlight he gets very embarressed and shy.  Even when we celebrated his birthday with him in America, he tried to distract attention somewhere else, away from himself.  Today, he did the universal sign of "quiet! Put his finger to his mouth and said.....shhhhhhhh!  When we first saw him we said, "SHASHA!"  haha...Jeff and I are so loud and American.  "HEY SASHA!"  He said....shhhhhh!

We have learned slowly that we are to blend in and not greet people like we do in America.  HIs personality is not so loud and vibrant like ours.  Imagine how much Jeff and I stand out, with his  penny loafers and my little American haircut and our smiles ear to ear.  No one smiles here....it's so weird! 

So after the kids came back from lunch and changed clothes, Sasha came and sat with us.  I don't think many of his classroom of 5th graders was very happy though, because he was excused from cleaning for the day.  On the blog, I mentioned that Saturday was cleaning day, actually, everyday is cleaning day!  Cinderella Cinderella!  Wow, they clean a lot!

Anyway, we are still waiting to hear if we will have court on Friday.  The judge was going to celebrate his birthday for four days and wasn't going to be in town, but  evidentally our team is calling on favors and trying to pull some strings to get him there....it's complicated as Ksenia says....haha.

Also, we found out at dinner tonight that Sasha's little girlfriend has not been hanging around for a reason.  We wondered why and finally found out that we caused quite the ruckus at the orphange.  Evidentally she has been telling people that she is getting adopted and is going to America.  WE NEVER TOLD HER THAT!  I promise....but Sasha was saying when he introduced her, "Alena, go to Americ?"    Sasha is fine without her going, but now we feel absolutely aweful, because she evidentally had her hopes up that she was going to America.  WOW!!!!!  We are having a very hard time with this!  We are only aproved for one child or believe me, we would be doing everything in our power to bring her home with us.

We also learned a few days ago that there are 138 million orphans in the world.  Incredible! 
We won't share the intimate details of Sasha's life, but he hasn't had parents since he was three.  This is not "typical" here, but it is not "unusual."  As any child psychologist would tell you, he still needs to be a "little boy."  He never got to experience this part of his life.  I have got to look into this and hope to have some help from some child psychologists, but we have a lot to learn.  He is so precious but becomes discouraged very easily.  We will work through all of this...it may not be easy or immediate, but we will make it!

Jeff and I are sooooo tired.  We don't even feel like we do much, it's just so emotionally draining everyday.  Thank you again for prayers.....we are going to bed at 8:30 p.m. tonight.

love to you all,
m and j

GREAT DAY!!!

Today was a wonderful day!  We saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  We showed up at Sasha's orphanage at 12:30 and got a couple small smiles as he mopped the floor of his schoolroom.  It was not until about 2:00 though that we began to see some changes in Sasha's behavior today.

A woman from the Child Protective Services in Lutugano came this afternoon to explain to Sasha, in his Russian language,that everything was going to be okay and that they were there to protect him for anything or anyone who is scaring him.  She also told him that if there was anyone that was intimidating him that he should tell Ksenia and that ksenia will pass the information on to them.  She assured him that they will take care of the situation and monitor it closely.   She said that there is nothing anyone can do to hurt him and that he is safe now.  It was wonderful to see the justice system in Ukraine actually step up to protect a child.  There are a lot more details to this story but we have decided not to publish all of it.  The bottom line is that there is a protective system in place to help children and be a voice to protect their rights. Praise the Lord!!!!!

Jeff and I also sat with Sasha to talk with him about some details of the adoption.  Ksenia translated as Jeff told him that we are here for him and are not going home without him.  We explained with a calendar in his view that we hope to have our court date this Friday. (WE ARE PRAYING) After that mama and papa will be going home that same day.  We also showed him on the calendar that we have to wait 10 days before we can "officially" adopt him, but that we will be there on the 10th day to actually take him with us back to Kiev to do some paperwork.  We hope all of this will occur next Monday.  At that time we will get his physical and will go to get a passport and do other paperwork at the U. S. Embassy.

This afternoon, we still had a woman teacher from the orphanage with us but she did not hear all of the conversations between Sasha and the Child protective services.  The orphanage knows that this governmental agency is watching them and holding them accountable for their actions. 
We are so thankful for the progress that has been made today.  Imediately after the woman from the child protective services spoke to Sasha, his whole demeanor changed.  He was smiling and relaxed.  We sat with him in a room outside the school room and enjoyed being with him for about two hours.  We played Farkle and war and slapjack with some playing cards.  He was back to his old self and we laughed and had an incredible time of bonding with him. 

We also found out that legally, once the child has agreed to adoption, that the potential parents are allowed to have at least 3 hours with the child seven days a week and that a room needs to be provided for the parents and the child or children. 

We are so energized today and we feel such a sense of relief.  We are thankful that God may have used our situation to pave the way for other parents who will come to adopt at the Lutugano orphanage.  There are always problems with every system, but we feel that some of the kinks have been worked out.  We are so thankful to Nastya, Alexey (Nastya's husband) and Ksenia for busting their tales to make everything happen in a timely manner.  They are really the ones who got everything back on track.  We are so blessed to be working with Options for Adoption in Atlanta and for Tonya's two facilitators Nastya and Ksenia, there in Ukraine.

There are not enough words to express to you all how much we appreciate your thoughtful words but especially your prayers.  We felt the presence of the Lord today through all of your intervention.  Thank you for sharing in our joys and pains in this journey.

We hope that all of this will be over in a couple of weeks and that Sasha will be home with us finding his place in our family.  Love is a powerful thing and we want to sit back and watch what God will do once Sasha is a part of our family.  We are trsuting that God has all of this under control.  We know that it will take some time, maybe even a year to prove to Sasha that we are not going away, but we are in this for the long haul.  He is God's blessing to us and we know that God has a special plan for Sasha.  The fight will all be worth it and we pray that our sweet little Sasha can experience unconditional love once and for all.

We still have a ways to go but we are hopefullly in the home stretch!  I found a journal that I wrote a few notes in while Sasha was with us this past summer....it applies to our situation now so I thought I would share it.

Lord, we are not capable of handling this alone.....Lord, give us strength, remove our pride, give us compassion for your son Sasha, give us wisdom, help us not to fear, give us patience and help us to empty ourselves out so we can fill ourselves up with You.  Be our ROCK!!!!! and let this be worship to your ears.  If everything was perfect Lord we would have no need for you.  Help us to grab ahold of you and never let our hearts wonder that this is your perfect will for us.

Love to you all,
m and j

Monday

Today was such a hard day....especially since it was piggy backed on such a bad day yesterday.  It is 3:46 a.m. and I couldn't sleep so I got up to clear my head.  I was going to skip today's writing but it truly helps me to journal my thoughts about the day.

At times, it feels as though we are taking two steps forward three steps back, and we see this as a total attack by the enemy. We went to visit Sasha today at about 11:30 a.m. and got to his orphanage around noon, when their lessons were supposed to be finished for the day.  Well, we sat and sat and waited and waited outside of his classroom.  He saw us and gave a small little smile but never came out to hug us or kiss us like he had done in the past. 

Today was VERY different... he was even more distant than yesterday. They stayed in their classroom to clean again today.  We are not sure if they were being punished or if they were just cleaning again...but it was odd since they had just cleaned on Saturday and were not even in the classroom on Sunday the day before.  Anyway, we waited about 2 hours with no response from him except a glance or small smile now and then.  Then it was time for them to go to lunch.  Jeff, Ksenia and I were sitting on the couches, directly outside of his classrooms, yet he rushed right past us to go to lunch.  Still no hug or true acknowledgement of our presence.  We knew something was up.

Then we waited some more.  We could not find him anywhere.  Finally Ksenia found him and brought him to us.  He was basically avoiding us.  When we found him we were told that he had to stay with a social worker, teacher, if we wanted to "hang out" with him.  We were not able to do much, because she listened in on our conversations. 

I have the absolute sweetest husband who swallowed his pride and pain and said, "Sasha, let's go play guns."  Sasha said, "No papa."  So we continued to sit there.  I said, "Sasha, you okay, you still coming to America?"  No answer!

Finally we sat there a bit longer and he said he had to go finish his homework.  Let me tell you....Sasha doesn't especially like school and for him to want to go do his homework over spending time with us does not add up.  His social worker then told him he had to stay outside because there was a meeting in the school building.  So then Jeff tried again..."Sasha, let's go play guns." 

Sasha said ok without even smiling.  He grabbed a gun and just walked off into the field.  He was not wanting to play guns....someone had stolen his joy again today.  He was not at all interested in being with us, either because someone was watching or threatening him. He just wondered around in a daze.   So after about 15 -20 minutes of Jeff hiding behind trees and sneaking up on Sasha Jeff decided to call it quits.

Ksenia asked in her beautiful Russian language....many questions.  "Sasha, you okay?  You do not need to be afraid, we can protect you.  Who is saying things to you? Why are you acting this way today? Has someone been hurting you or scaring you?"

He assured her that no one was doing that.  OF COURSE WE KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE!

She asked him clearly in Russian, "Are you still going to America?"  He said, "yes."

I wish I could just hang on that and take it for what it is....but we seem to be losing ground everyday!

Soon after we had been there for three hours we decided it was time to leave.  We had to ask for a hug as he was not offering. 

Ksenia was able to reach someone to do some investigative work into this situation.  Our advocate basically called and tried to get things straighted around for us.  If tomorrow brings more of the same then our advocates here will be making some serious accusations. 

It is uncomprehensible to believe that any human being with a beating heart would try to deny a child the right to have a family who loves and cares for him or her.  We are all sinful, but this shows how evil a heart can be.  Sasha has no family except for an 80 year old grandma and a father who is never allowed to have rights of his child again.  Sasha will be completely alone in this world and will have to care for himself.  We came here to get our son and take him home to give him a better life and family and we believe that Sasha loves us and wants that too......but someone is manipulating him into changing his mind. 

We hope to have court on Friday in Lutugano.  He will again be required to stand up and say, "Yes, I want these people to be my parents in America."  We appreciate all your prayers for strength and courage.  Sasha is up against Goliath and needs to hang on to God to get him through this.  If by chance Sasha says no on Friday then our hands are tied and we are basically done!  We would need to completely start over with our dossier and do all of this again and Jeff said we are not doing that.  We will make that perfectly clear to him and Ksenia and her sister Nastya will talk with him before we walk into court.  Jeff and I can only love on him and pray.

I told Jeff that I want to brace myself for the worst.  Everyday is full of new disappointments.  Every morning we leave our place filled up from God's word and prayers and come home feeling defeated. It's been a long silent tearful ride home these past few days.  We will see what tomorrow brings.  Our whole existance here is waking up to get to see him and then coming home disappointed.  We do not have a tv that speaks any english, so we have been watching 24 round the clock.  I wish Jack Bauer were here now to intervene for us. ha!

I keep thinking in my heart....Lord I know you have not carried us this far without a "happy" ending.  There have been so many problems in this orphanage and so many heart broken though.  I will tell you that if we have to leave here on Friday and he has not said, "yes" to the court, I am not sure how we will endure.  There have been a few that left because the children said no.  Sasha said yes very quickly comparitively speaking to the other children in the orphanage, evidentally.

Our poor little boy is having to cope in a world where adults are sending mixed messages.  Love is wanting what is best for a person, not keeping them in your grip...it's allowing them to be free to experience life.

This is the hardest emotional pain I have ever felt other than the loss of three babies or miscarriages. No words can describe what we are feeling. God is really testing our faith!  We say it often, "For all things work together for the good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose."  Well, we are having a chance to really test that out.  Do we believe God? We say it often, but will we trust Him in this matter.   No matter what the outcome God, we trust You and have faith that You know what is best for us."

We know God has us here for a reason.  He is the King of Kings, The Beginning and the End, The Who IS and IS to come!  This is the God we serve.  Bigger than all of our problems and pain.  We are learning so much about patience.  We wait and we wait to see the outcome of this story.  We will fight the good fight and not grow weary!!!

We will fight for Sasha and take up as much as we can for him, but in the end, he has to be the one to say "YES" again.  We hate to continue to ask for prayers, but we need Sasha to feel God's strength and courage.  He is fighting a battle for his freedom against the evil forces.

Hear our prayer, O Lord, listen to our cry for help, be not deaf to our weeping.  (Psalm 39:12)

Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)

Thank you for your love, concern and prayers!
m and j

Legacy Of An Adopted Child Once there were two women, who never knew each other. One you do not remember and one you call mother, Two different lives, shaped to make yours one, One became you guiding star, the other became your sun. The first gave you life, and the second taught you to live in it. The first gave you a need for love and the second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name. One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you an aim. One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears. One gave you up, it was all that she could do- The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you. And now you ask me through your tears, the age old question through the years, heredity or environment---------- which are you the product of ??? Neither, my darling neither- Just two very special different kinds of love. Unknown Author.

sunday

It was a dreary, wet, cold and depressing day!  We went to see Sasha and was shuttled off to a little tiny room immediately.  We spent about 30 minutes with him, they wisked him off to lunch and when they all returned, the orphanage workers.yelled at us for spending too much time there.  Also, they told us not to take photos.  It was hard because we wanted to go outside to talk to Sasha and said we could for a minute, but then he went to grab his coat and they said NO! We said good bye and left there extremely depressed.

We have felt the spiritual, physical and emotional battle everyday, but today we crashed.  It was so upsetting today that we came home and climbed into bed at about 3:00.  Our bedroom is the only room that has heat, so we quickly got  under our one little blanket and watched movies until we got hungry.  Then we went with our sweet Ksenia to dinner and came back home and got into bed.  We are so discouraged and disappointed. There truly are no words to describe all of this.

When we said good bye to Sasha, he was very standoffish.  He is trying to play the game.  He has to "not" be excited to see us and "not" be excited about anything while we are there.  The place these kids live is truly like a prison.  It reaks so badly and they are stuck inside in these tiny little rooms with very little to do.  They go to a different building for meaels on Sunday and then back to their rooms.  

It is overwhelming to think about all these kids.  We would sell everything we had if we knew it would help them.  We are wanting to  "save" them all.  Life in America is so easy!  Life in Ukraine is hard, but life at the orphanage is downright aweful!  We want these kids to feel a sense of worth and be loved. It is total oppression here.....and many of these kids have never had a normal childhood or anyone to careand love for them.

We appreciate prayers...as this is one of the hardest things that we have ever endured.  Our devotion was on love today.....Love conquers all!  Lack of love is complete misery and pain!

Please pray for Sasha....he has a long way to go.  We hope to have court Friday, but if the documents don't get back here from Kiev in time we will have to wait until the following Monday.

We miss our sweet children and friends.  My wonderful parents cared for them in our absence and now Jeff's wonderful parents and sweet sister Laurie are there..  God has been so good to us, yet, we feel weak, weary and worn down!  So much sadness and pain.

Sasha is so strong and continues to amaze us.  He is in "survival" mode.
Thanks for prayers....love to you all,
m and j

it was "clean up and chore day" today...sasha's artwork below

saturday

Today was a very emotional day!  We sorta hit the "hump" day and got very emotional. 

We went to see sasha and noticed that he was a little bit "off" again today.  little did we know that the guy who kelsey had been praying for is still working against us.  He is so very kind to us and tells us about how he is the american history teacher...but yet he doesn't teach american history in his world history class.  He said they won't let him....not sure if maybe he just doesn't want to teach that.  Anyway, Sasha was a bit different again today because of pressure from him and others. 

Jeff and he had sooooo much fun again on the playground playing with guns and getting a few other boys involved.  The other little boys were having a great time too, chasing and playing with papa and sasha.  Jeff told Sasha that he was giving his gun up and to let the other little boys use them to come and capture papa.  They chased him and got him....jeff walked up with his hands behind his head....haha.  Soon afterwards, a teacher came and began yelling at the other little boys.  They don't like the kids to have fun here.....and they get mad when they act like kids..... it seems like.  Anyway, little did Jeff know that while he was playing outside, his wife was having an anxiety attack in the bathroom.  We had heard the assistant administrator talking about a "crazy bathroom."  "You can get in but you can't get out."  Well, Misty got stuck in there...for 40 minutes.  I was actually texting my kids and was asking kyle and karley to call daddy to see if they could call him and get him to come help me.  Anyway, finally after i was knocking softly, began banging on the door.  The Assistant Administrator came to the door and was yelling in "ukrainaian."  I was crying at that point....had actually been talking to you too brenda perrill.....via international texting..but didn't want to upset you and tell you i was locked in bathroom.  haha.  Karley and Kyle had tried to call Jeff since I couldn't get through on my American phone ...but to no avail.  Finally I was rescued. 

The mean stepmother...I mean Assistant Director,  took me back upstairs to our sweet Ksenia...our adorable little girl who may truly be our guardian angel.  She yelled at Ksenia for not being a "good worker."  She said she should have kept an eye out for me.  omg....what a nutty place!

So we had a very sad day....skyped with my sweet little karley and then couldn't stop crying!  I was sooooo homesick.  I tried to stay focused today but actually went to the bathroom to have a good cry.  Little did I know that I would be in this stinky little place for 40 minutes.

I miss our kids and family and friends so much.  I asked Jeff if he was okay...he said, "I just can't go there."  It is very hard and making us very weary!  We will be strong and I think about how strong Sasha has to be....so we can endure.

Sasha is still getting a lot of resistance.  He is lying to people saying that he hasn't decided yet, because he doesn't want to have to explain and say ,"Yes, I'm going to America."  Anyway, we will say good bye to him next Thursday or Friday and return to America for a short time.Sasha is so strong and God is giving Him such strength....it has to be God.  OMG, these kids have so much against them.  There is one little boy and girl who have been hosted 3 times but will not agree to adoption because they think their mom is still coming for them.  Someone is lying to them, because their parents are not on the birth certificate and once the mama had the daughter or son (I'm not sure which) they left the hospital and have never been found.  No one knows who their parents are and will never know...but they are being fooled by a person at the orphanage who doesn't want them to leave...saying...."you're mom will come back to get you."  I know .....I am crying too!

Well, we met a little girl who Sasha "likes"...the one I told him that looks like Karley.  He said,
 "Mama, America....sister."  He gets the cutest little grin around her.  After I realized that he "likes" her, I said...."Sasha, if she is your sister and we adopt her, you can't marry her."  haha..he just smiled his cute little smile.

We truly are asking if we can adopt more...but our dumb dossier says only one child.  We are looking into some things.  If you were here, you could never go home with just one child. 

When we said good bye to Sasha today, we tried to take him directly to his "sleeping quarters," but we had to leave him in the hands of the enemy.....the guy who is completely against us, intercepted him and took him.  We said, "Good bye Sasha....we love you."  Then walked away shaking our heads in disbelief.  Two steps forward, three steps backwards.....but God is in Control.....
Thank you Lord for getting us through this day....we love you all!
m and j