Today was good! We arrived a little later than usual so that we wouldn't have to wait so long to see Sasha. He was very quiet again when he saw us at first. His culture is very different from ours in that most Ukrainians do not like to bring attention to themselves. Whenever he is put on the spotlight he gets very embarressed and shy. Even when we celebrated his birthday with him in America, he tried to distract attention somewhere else, away from himself. Today, he did the universal sign of "quiet! Put his finger to his mouth and said.....shhhhhhhh! When we first saw him we said, "SHASHA!" haha...Jeff and I are so loud and American. "HEY SASHA!" He said....shhhhhh!
We have learned slowly that we are to blend in and not greet people like we do in America. HIs personality is not so loud and vibrant like ours. Imagine how much Jeff and I stand out, with his penny loafers and my little American haircut and our smiles ear to ear. No one smiles here....it's so weird!
So after the kids came back from lunch and changed clothes, Sasha came and sat with us. I don't think many of his classroom of 5th graders was very happy though, because he was excused from cleaning for the day. On the blog, I mentioned that Saturday was cleaning day, actually, everyday is cleaning day! Cinderella Cinderella! Wow, they clean a lot!
Anyway, we are still waiting to hear if we will have court on Friday. The judge was going to celebrate his birthday for four days and wasn't going to be in town, but evidentally our team is calling on favors and trying to pull some strings to get him there....it's complicated as Ksenia says....haha.
Also, we found out at dinner tonight that Sasha's little girlfriend has not been hanging around for a reason. We wondered why and finally found out that we caused quite the ruckus at the orphange. Evidentally she has been telling people that she is getting adopted and is going to America. WE NEVER TOLD HER THAT! I promise....but Sasha was saying when he introduced her, "Alena, go to Americ?" Sasha is fine without her going, but now we feel absolutely aweful, because she evidentally had her hopes up that she was going to America. WOW!!!!! We are having a very hard time with this! We are only aproved for one child or believe me, we would be doing everything in our power to bring her home with us.
We also learned a few days ago that there are 138 million orphans in the world. Incredible!
We won't share the intimate details of Sasha's life, but he hasn't had parents since he was three. This is not "typical" here, but it is not "unusual." As any child psychologist would tell you, he still needs to be a "little boy." He never got to experience this part of his life. I have got to look into this and hope to have some help from some child psychologists, but we have a lot to learn. He is so precious but becomes discouraged very easily. We will work through all of this...it may not be easy or immediate, but we will make it!
Jeff and I are sooooo tired. We don't even feel like we do much, it's just so emotionally draining everyday. Thank you again for prayers.....we are going to bed at 8:30 p.m. tonight.
love to you all,
m and j
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
GREAT DAY!!!
Today was a wonderful day! We saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We showed up at Sasha's orphanage at 12:30 and got a couple small smiles as he mopped the floor of his schoolroom. It was not until about 2:00 though that we began to see some changes in Sasha's behavior today.
A woman from the Child Protective Services in Lutugano came this afternoon to explain to Sasha, in his Russian language,that everything was going to be okay and that they were there to protect him for anything or anyone who is scaring him. She also told him that if there was anyone that was intimidating him that he should tell Ksenia and that ksenia will pass the information on to them. She assured him that they will take care of the situation and monitor it closely. She said that there is nothing anyone can do to hurt him and that he is safe now. It was wonderful to see the justice system in Ukraine actually step up to protect a child. There are a lot more details to this story but we have decided not to publish all of it. The bottom line is that there is a protective system in place to help children and be a voice to protect their rights. Praise the Lord!!!!!
Jeff and I also sat with Sasha to talk with him about some details of the adoption. Ksenia translated as Jeff told him that we are here for him and are not going home without him. We explained with a calendar in his view that we hope to have our court date this Friday. (WE ARE PRAYING) After that mama and papa will be going home that same day. We also showed him on the calendar that we have to wait 10 days before we can "officially" adopt him, but that we will be there on the 10th day to actually take him with us back to Kiev to do some paperwork. We hope all of this will occur next Monday. At that time we will get his physical and will go to get a passport and do other paperwork at the U. S. Embassy.
This afternoon, we still had a woman teacher from the orphanage with us but she did not hear all of the conversations between Sasha and the Child protective services. The orphanage knows that this governmental agency is watching them and holding them accountable for their actions.
We are so thankful for the progress that has been made today. Imediately after the woman from the child protective services spoke to Sasha, his whole demeanor changed. He was smiling and relaxed. We sat with him in a room outside the school room and enjoyed being with him for about two hours. We played Farkle and war and slapjack with some playing cards. He was back to his old self and we laughed and had an incredible time of bonding with him.
We also found out that legally, once the child has agreed to adoption, that the potential parents are allowed to have at least 3 hours with the child seven days a week and that a room needs to be provided for the parents and the child or children.
We are so energized today and we feel such a sense of relief. We are thankful that God may have used our situation to pave the way for other parents who will come to adopt at the Lutugano orphanage. There are always problems with every system, but we feel that some of the kinks have been worked out. We are so thankful to Nastya, Alexey (Nastya's husband) and Ksenia for busting their tales to make everything happen in a timely manner. They are really the ones who got everything back on track. We are so blessed to be working with Options for Adoption in Atlanta and for Tonya's two facilitators Nastya and Ksenia, there in Ukraine.
There are not enough words to express to you all how much we appreciate your thoughtful words but especially your prayers. We felt the presence of the Lord today through all of your intervention. Thank you for sharing in our joys and pains in this journey.
We hope that all of this will be over in a couple of weeks and that Sasha will be home with us finding his place in our family. Love is a powerful thing and we want to sit back and watch what God will do once Sasha is a part of our family. We are trsuting that God has all of this under control. We know that it will take some time, maybe even a year to prove to Sasha that we are not going away, but we are in this for the long haul. He is God's blessing to us and we know that God has a special plan for Sasha. The fight will all be worth it and we pray that our sweet little Sasha can experience unconditional love once and for all.
We still have a ways to go but we are hopefullly in the home stretch! I found a journal that I wrote a few notes in while Sasha was with us this past summer....it applies to our situation now so I thought I would share it.
Lord, we are not capable of handling this alone.....Lord, give us strength, remove our pride, give us compassion for your son Sasha, give us wisdom, help us not to fear, give us patience and help us to empty ourselves out so we can fill ourselves up with You. Be our ROCK!!!!! and let this be worship to your ears. If everything was perfect Lord we would have no need for you. Help us to grab ahold of you and never let our hearts wonder that this is your perfect will for us.
Love to you all,
m and j
A woman from the Child Protective Services in Lutugano came this afternoon to explain to Sasha, in his Russian language,that everything was going to be okay and that they were there to protect him for anything or anyone who is scaring him. She also told him that if there was anyone that was intimidating him that he should tell Ksenia and that ksenia will pass the information on to them. She assured him that they will take care of the situation and monitor it closely. She said that there is nothing anyone can do to hurt him and that he is safe now. It was wonderful to see the justice system in Ukraine actually step up to protect a child. There are a lot more details to this story but we have decided not to publish all of it. The bottom line is that there is a protective system in place to help children and be a voice to protect their rights. Praise the Lord!!!!!
Jeff and I also sat with Sasha to talk with him about some details of the adoption. Ksenia translated as Jeff told him that we are here for him and are not going home without him. We explained with a calendar in his view that we hope to have our court date this Friday. (WE ARE PRAYING) After that mama and papa will be going home that same day. We also showed him on the calendar that we have to wait 10 days before we can "officially" adopt him, but that we will be there on the 10th day to actually take him with us back to Kiev to do some paperwork. We hope all of this will occur next Monday. At that time we will get his physical and will go to get a passport and do other paperwork at the U. S. Embassy.
This afternoon, we still had a woman teacher from the orphanage with us but she did not hear all of the conversations between Sasha and the Child protective services. The orphanage knows that this governmental agency is watching them and holding them accountable for their actions.
We are so thankful for the progress that has been made today. Imediately after the woman from the child protective services spoke to Sasha, his whole demeanor changed. He was smiling and relaxed. We sat with him in a room outside the school room and enjoyed being with him for about two hours. We played Farkle and war and slapjack with some playing cards. He was back to his old self and we laughed and had an incredible time of bonding with him.
We also found out that legally, once the child has agreed to adoption, that the potential parents are allowed to have at least 3 hours with the child seven days a week and that a room needs to be provided for the parents and the child or children.
We are so energized today and we feel such a sense of relief. We are thankful that God may have used our situation to pave the way for other parents who will come to adopt at the Lutugano orphanage. There are always problems with every system, but we feel that some of the kinks have been worked out. We are so thankful to Nastya, Alexey (Nastya's husband) and Ksenia for busting their tales to make everything happen in a timely manner. They are really the ones who got everything back on track. We are so blessed to be working with Options for Adoption in Atlanta and for Tonya's two facilitators Nastya and Ksenia, there in Ukraine.
There are not enough words to express to you all how much we appreciate your thoughtful words but especially your prayers. We felt the presence of the Lord today through all of your intervention. Thank you for sharing in our joys and pains in this journey.
We hope that all of this will be over in a couple of weeks and that Sasha will be home with us finding his place in our family. Love is a powerful thing and we want to sit back and watch what God will do once Sasha is a part of our family. We are trsuting that God has all of this under control. We know that it will take some time, maybe even a year to prove to Sasha that we are not going away, but we are in this for the long haul. He is God's blessing to us and we know that God has a special plan for Sasha. The fight will all be worth it and we pray that our sweet little Sasha can experience unconditional love once and for all.
We still have a ways to go but we are hopefullly in the home stretch! I found a journal that I wrote a few notes in while Sasha was with us this past summer....it applies to our situation now so I thought I would share it.
Lord, we are not capable of handling this alone.....Lord, give us strength, remove our pride, give us compassion for your son Sasha, give us wisdom, help us not to fear, give us patience and help us to empty ourselves out so we can fill ourselves up with You. Be our ROCK!!!!! and let this be worship to your ears. If everything was perfect Lord we would have no need for you. Help us to grab ahold of you and never let our hearts wonder that this is your perfect will for us.
Love to you all,
m and j
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday
Today was such a hard day....especially since it was piggy backed on such a bad day yesterday. It is 3:46 a.m. and I couldn't sleep so I got up to clear my head. I was going to skip today's writing but it truly helps me to journal my thoughts about the day.
At times, it feels as though we are taking two steps forward three steps back, and we see this as a total attack by the enemy. We went to visit Sasha today at about 11:30 a.m. and got to his orphanage around noon, when their lessons were supposed to be finished for the day. Well, we sat and sat and waited and waited outside of his classroom. He saw us and gave a small little smile but never came out to hug us or kiss us like he had done in the past.
Today was VERY different... he was even more distant than yesterday. They stayed in their classroom to clean again today. We are not sure if they were being punished or if they were just cleaning again...but it was odd since they had just cleaned on Saturday and were not even in the classroom on Sunday the day before. Anyway, we waited about 2 hours with no response from him except a glance or small smile now and then. Then it was time for them to go to lunch. Jeff, Ksenia and I were sitting on the couches, directly outside of his classrooms, yet he rushed right past us to go to lunch. Still no hug or true acknowledgement of our presence. We knew something was up.
Then we waited some more. We could not find him anywhere. Finally Ksenia found him and brought him to us. He was basically avoiding us. When we found him we were told that he had to stay with a social worker, teacher, if we wanted to "hang out" with him. We were not able to do much, because she listened in on our conversations.
I have the absolute sweetest husband who swallowed his pride and pain and said, "Sasha, let's go play guns." Sasha said, "No papa." So we continued to sit there. I said, "Sasha, you okay, you still coming to America?" No answer!
Finally we sat there a bit longer and he said he had to go finish his homework. Let me tell you....Sasha doesn't especially like school and for him to want to go do his homework over spending time with us does not add up. His social worker then told him he had to stay outside because there was a meeting in the school building. So then Jeff tried again..."Sasha, let's go play guns."
Sasha said ok without even smiling. He grabbed a gun and just walked off into the field. He was not wanting to play guns....someone had stolen his joy again today. He was not at all interested in being with us, either because someone was watching or threatening him. He just wondered around in a daze. So after about 15 -20 minutes of Jeff hiding behind trees and sneaking up on Sasha Jeff decided to call it quits.
Ksenia asked in her beautiful Russian language....many questions. "Sasha, you okay? You do not need to be afraid, we can protect you. Who is saying things to you? Why are you acting this way today? Has someone been hurting you or scaring you?"
He assured her that no one was doing that. OF COURSE WE KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE!
She asked him clearly in Russian, "Are you still going to America?" He said, "yes."
I wish I could just hang on that and take it for what it is....but we seem to be losing ground everyday!
Soon after we had been there for three hours we decided it was time to leave. We had to ask for a hug as he was not offering.
Ksenia was able to reach someone to do some investigative work into this situation. Our advocate basically called and tried to get things straighted around for us. If tomorrow brings more of the same then our advocates here will be making some serious accusations.
It is uncomprehensible to believe that any human being with a beating heart would try to deny a child the right to have a family who loves and cares for him or her. We are all sinful, but this shows how evil a heart can be. Sasha has no family except for an 80 year old grandma and a father who is never allowed to have rights of his child again. Sasha will be completely alone in this world and will have to care for himself. We came here to get our son and take him home to give him a better life and family and we believe that Sasha loves us and wants that too......but someone is manipulating him into changing his mind.
We hope to have court on Friday in Lutugano. He will again be required to stand up and say, "Yes, I want these people to be my parents in America." We appreciate all your prayers for strength and courage. Sasha is up against Goliath and needs to hang on to God to get him through this. If by chance Sasha says no on Friday then our hands are tied and we are basically done! We would need to completely start over with our dossier and do all of this again and Jeff said we are not doing that. We will make that perfectly clear to him and Ksenia and her sister Nastya will talk with him before we walk into court. Jeff and I can only love on him and pray.
I told Jeff that I want to brace myself for the worst. Everyday is full of new disappointments. Every morning we leave our place filled up from God's word and prayers and come home feeling defeated. It's been a long silent tearful ride home these past few days. We will see what tomorrow brings. Our whole existance here is waking up to get to see him and then coming home disappointed. We do not have a tv that speaks any english, so we have been watching 24 round the clock. I wish Jack Bauer were here now to intervene for us. ha!
I keep thinking in my heart....Lord I know you have not carried us this far without a "happy" ending. There have been so many problems in this orphanage and so many heart broken though. I will tell you that if we have to leave here on Friday and he has not said, "yes" to the court, I am not sure how we will endure. There have been a few that left because the children said no. Sasha said yes very quickly comparitively speaking to the other children in the orphanage, evidentally.
Our poor little boy is having to cope in a world where adults are sending mixed messages. Love is wanting what is best for a person, not keeping them in your grip...it's allowing them to be free to experience life.
This is the hardest emotional pain I have ever felt other than the loss of three babies or miscarriages. No words can describe what we are feeling. God is really testing our faith! We say it often, "For all things work together for the good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Well, we are having a chance to really test that out. Do we believe God? We say it often, but will we trust Him in this matter. No matter what the outcome God, we trust You and have faith that You know what is best for us."
We know God has us here for a reason. He is the King of Kings, The Beginning and the End, The Who IS and IS to come! This is the God we serve. Bigger than all of our problems and pain. We are learning so much about patience. We wait and we wait to see the outcome of this story. We will fight the good fight and not grow weary!!!
We will fight for Sasha and take up as much as we can for him, but in the end, he has to be the one to say "YES" again. We hate to continue to ask for prayers, but we need Sasha to feel God's strength and courage. He is fighting a battle for his freedom against the evil forces.
Hear our prayer, O Lord, listen to our cry for help, be not deaf to our weeping. (Psalm 39:12)
Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
Thank you for your love, concern and prayers!
m and j
At times, it feels as though we are taking two steps forward three steps back, and we see this as a total attack by the enemy. We went to visit Sasha today at about 11:30 a.m. and got to his orphanage around noon, when their lessons were supposed to be finished for the day. Well, we sat and sat and waited and waited outside of his classroom. He saw us and gave a small little smile but never came out to hug us or kiss us like he had done in the past.
Today was VERY different... he was even more distant than yesterday. They stayed in their classroom to clean again today. We are not sure if they were being punished or if they were just cleaning again...but it was odd since they had just cleaned on Saturday and were not even in the classroom on Sunday the day before. Anyway, we waited about 2 hours with no response from him except a glance or small smile now and then. Then it was time for them to go to lunch. Jeff, Ksenia and I were sitting on the couches, directly outside of his classrooms, yet he rushed right past us to go to lunch. Still no hug or true acknowledgement of our presence. We knew something was up.
Then we waited some more. We could not find him anywhere. Finally Ksenia found him and brought him to us. He was basically avoiding us. When we found him we were told that he had to stay with a social worker, teacher, if we wanted to "hang out" with him. We were not able to do much, because she listened in on our conversations.
I have the absolute sweetest husband who swallowed his pride and pain and said, "Sasha, let's go play guns." Sasha said, "No papa." So we continued to sit there. I said, "Sasha, you okay, you still coming to America?" No answer!
Finally we sat there a bit longer and he said he had to go finish his homework. Let me tell you....Sasha doesn't especially like school and for him to want to go do his homework over spending time with us does not add up. His social worker then told him he had to stay outside because there was a meeting in the school building. So then Jeff tried again..."Sasha, let's go play guns."
Sasha said ok without even smiling. He grabbed a gun and just walked off into the field. He was not wanting to play guns....someone had stolen his joy again today. He was not at all interested in being with us, either because someone was watching or threatening him. He just wondered around in a daze. So after about 15 -20 minutes of Jeff hiding behind trees and sneaking up on Sasha Jeff decided to call it quits.
Ksenia asked in her beautiful Russian language....many questions. "Sasha, you okay? You do not need to be afraid, we can protect you. Who is saying things to you? Why are you acting this way today? Has someone been hurting you or scaring you?"
He assured her that no one was doing that. OF COURSE WE KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE!
She asked him clearly in Russian, "Are you still going to America?" He said, "yes."
I wish I could just hang on that and take it for what it is....but we seem to be losing ground everyday!
Soon after we had been there for three hours we decided it was time to leave. We had to ask for a hug as he was not offering.
Ksenia was able to reach someone to do some investigative work into this situation. Our advocate basically called and tried to get things straighted around for us. If tomorrow brings more of the same then our advocates here will be making some serious accusations.
It is uncomprehensible to believe that any human being with a beating heart would try to deny a child the right to have a family who loves and cares for him or her. We are all sinful, but this shows how evil a heart can be. Sasha has no family except for an 80 year old grandma and a father who is never allowed to have rights of his child again. Sasha will be completely alone in this world and will have to care for himself. We came here to get our son and take him home to give him a better life and family and we believe that Sasha loves us and wants that too......but someone is manipulating him into changing his mind.
We hope to have court on Friday in Lutugano. He will again be required to stand up and say, "Yes, I want these people to be my parents in America." We appreciate all your prayers for strength and courage. Sasha is up against Goliath and needs to hang on to God to get him through this. If by chance Sasha says no on Friday then our hands are tied and we are basically done! We would need to completely start over with our dossier and do all of this again and Jeff said we are not doing that. We will make that perfectly clear to him and Ksenia and her sister Nastya will talk with him before we walk into court. Jeff and I can only love on him and pray.
I told Jeff that I want to brace myself for the worst. Everyday is full of new disappointments. Every morning we leave our place filled up from God's word and prayers and come home feeling defeated. It's been a long silent tearful ride home these past few days. We will see what tomorrow brings. Our whole existance here is waking up to get to see him and then coming home disappointed. We do not have a tv that speaks any english, so we have been watching 24 round the clock. I wish Jack Bauer were here now to intervene for us. ha!
I keep thinking in my heart....Lord I know you have not carried us this far without a "happy" ending. There have been so many problems in this orphanage and so many heart broken though. I will tell you that if we have to leave here on Friday and he has not said, "yes" to the court, I am not sure how we will endure. There have been a few that left because the children said no. Sasha said yes very quickly comparitively speaking to the other children in the orphanage, evidentally.
Our poor little boy is having to cope in a world where adults are sending mixed messages. Love is wanting what is best for a person, not keeping them in your grip...it's allowing them to be free to experience life.
This is the hardest emotional pain I have ever felt other than the loss of three babies or miscarriages. No words can describe what we are feeling. God is really testing our faith! We say it often, "For all things work together for the good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Well, we are having a chance to really test that out. Do we believe God? We say it often, but will we trust Him in this matter. No matter what the outcome God, we trust You and have faith that You know what is best for us."
We know God has us here for a reason. He is the King of Kings, The Beginning and the End, The Who IS and IS to come! This is the God we serve. Bigger than all of our problems and pain. We are learning so much about patience. We wait and we wait to see the outcome of this story. We will fight the good fight and not grow weary!!!
We will fight for Sasha and take up as much as we can for him, but in the end, he has to be the one to say "YES" again. We hate to continue to ask for prayers, but we need Sasha to feel God's strength and courage. He is fighting a battle for his freedom against the evil forces.
Hear our prayer, O Lord, listen to our cry for help, be not deaf to our weeping. (Psalm 39:12)
Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
Thank you for your love, concern and prayers!
m and j
Sunday, October 10, 2010
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sunday
It was a dreary, wet, cold and depressing day! We went to see Sasha and was shuttled off to a little tiny room immediately. We spent about 30 minutes with him, they wisked him off to lunch and when they all returned, the orphanage workers.yelled at us for spending too much time there. Also, they told us not to take photos. It was hard because we wanted to go outside to talk to Sasha and said we could for a minute, but then he went to grab his coat and they said NO! We said good bye and left there extremely depressed.
We have felt the spiritual, physical and emotional battle everyday, but today we crashed. It was so upsetting today that we came home and climbed into bed at about 3:00. Our bedroom is the only room that has heat, so we quickly got under our one little blanket and watched movies until we got hungry. Then we went with our sweet Ksenia to dinner and came back home and got into bed. We are so discouraged and disappointed. There truly are no words to describe all of this.
When we said good bye to Sasha, he was very standoffish. He is trying to play the game. He has to "not" be excited to see us and "not" be excited about anything while we are there. The place these kids live is truly like a prison. It reaks so badly and they are stuck inside in these tiny little rooms with very little to do. They go to a different building for meaels on Sunday and then back to their rooms.
It is overwhelming to think about all these kids. We would sell everything we had if we knew it would help them. We are wanting to "save" them all. Life in America is so easy! Life in Ukraine is hard, but life at the orphanage is downright aweful! We want these kids to feel a sense of worth and be loved. It is total oppression here.....and many of these kids have never had a normal childhood or anyone to careand love for them.
We appreciate prayers...as this is one of the hardest things that we have ever endured. Our devotion was on love today.....Love conquers all! Lack of love is complete misery and pain!
Please pray for Sasha....he has a long way to go. We hope to have court Friday, but if the documents don't get back here from Kiev in time we will have to wait until the following Monday.
We miss our sweet children and friends. My wonderful parents cared for them in our absence and now Jeff's wonderful parents and sweet sister Laurie are there.. God has been so good to us, yet, we feel weak, weary and worn down! So much sadness and pain.
Sasha is so strong and continues to amaze us. He is in "survival" mode.
Thanks for prayers....love to you all,
m and j
We have felt the spiritual, physical and emotional battle everyday, but today we crashed. It was so upsetting today that we came home and climbed into bed at about 3:00. Our bedroom is the only room that has heat, so we quickly got under our one little blanket and watched movies until we got hungry. Then we went with our sweet Ksenia to dinner and came back home and got into bed. We are so discouraged and disappointed. There truly are no words to describe all of this.
When we said good bye to Sasha, he was very standoffish. He is trying to play the game. He has to "not" be excited to see us and "not" be excited about anything while we are there. The place these kids live is truly like a prison. It reaks so badly and they are stuck inside in these tiny little rooms with very little to do. They go to a different building for meaels on Sunday and then back to their rooms.
It is overwhelming to think about all these kids. We would sell everything we had if we knew it would help them. We are wanting to "save" them all. Life in America is so easy! Life in Ukraine is hard, but life at the orphanage is downright aweful! We want these kids to feel a sense of worth and be loved. It is total oppression here.....and many of these kids have never had a normal childhood or anyone to careand love for them.
We appreciate prayers...as this is one of the hardest things that we have ever endured. Our devotion was on love today.....Love conquers all! Lack of love is complete misery and pain!
Please pray for Sasha....he has a long way to go. We hope to have court Friday, but if the documents don't get back here from Kiev in time we will have to wait until the following Monday.
We miss our sweet children and friends. My wonderful parents cared for them in our absence and now Jeff's wonderful parents and sweet sister Laurie are there.. God has been so good to us, yet, we feel weak, weary and worn down! So much sadness and pain.
Sasha is so strong and continues to amaze us. He is in "survival" mode.
Thanks for prayers....love to you all,
m and j
Saturday, October 9, 2010
saturday
Today was a very emotional day! We sorta hit the "hump" day and got very emotional.
We went to see sasha and noticed that he was a little bit "off" again today. little did we know that the guy who kelsey had been praying for is still working against us. He is so very kind to us and tells us about how he is the american history teacher...but yet he doesn't teach american history in his world history class. He said they won't let him....not sure if maybe he just doesn't want to teach that. Anyway, Sasha was a bit different again today because of pressure from him and others.
Jeff and he had sooooo much fun again on the playground playing with guns and getting a few other boys involved. The other little boys were having a great time too, chasing and playing with papa and sasha. Jeff told Sasha that he was giving his gun up and to let the other little boys use them to come and capture papa. They chased him and got him....jeff walked up with his hands behind his head....haha. Soon afterwards, a teacher came and began yelling at the other little boys. They don't like the kids to have fun here.....and they get mad when they act like kids..... it seems like. Anyway, little did Jeff know that while he was playing outside, his wife was having an anxiety attack in the bathroom. We had heard the assistant administrator talking about a "crazy bathroom." "You can get in but you can't get out." Well, Misty got stuck in there...for 40 minutes. I was actually texting my kids and was asking kyle and karley to call daddy to see if they could call him and get him to come help me. Anyway, finally after i was knocking softly, began banging on the door. The Assistant Administrator came to the door and was yelling in "ukrainaian." I was crying at that point....had actually been talking to you too brenda perrill.....via international texting..but didn't want to upset you and tell you i was locked in bathroom. haha. Karley and Kyle had tried to call Jeff since I couldn't get through on my American phone ...but to no avail. Finally I was rescued.
The mean stepmother...I mean Assistant Director, took me back upstairs to our sweet Ksenia...our adorable little girl who may truly be our guardian angel. She yelled at Ksenia for not being a "good worker." She said she should have kept an eye out for me. omg....what a nutty place!
So we had a very sad day....skyped with my sweet little karley and then couldn't stop crying! I was sooooo homesick. I tried to stay focused today but actually went to the bathroom to have a good cry. Little did I know that I would be in this stinky little place for 40 minutes.
I miss our kids and family and friends so much. I asked Jeff if he was okay...he said, "I just can't go there." It is very hard and making us very weary! We will be strong and I think about how strong Sasha has to be....so we can endure.
Sasha is still getting a lot of resistance. He is lying to people saying that he hasn't decided yet, because he doesn't want to have to explain and say ,"Yes, I'm going to America." Anyway, we will say good bye to him next Thursday or Friday and return to America for a short time.Sasha is so strong and God is giving Him such strength....it has to be God. OMG, these kids have so much against them. There is one little boy and girl who have been hosted 3 times but will not agree to adoption because they think their mom is still coming for them. Someone is lying to them, because their parents are not on the birth certificate and once the mama had the daughter or son (I'm not sure which) they left the hospital and have never been found. No one knows who their parents are and will never know...but they are being fooled by a person at the orphanage who doesn't want them to leave...saying...."you're mom will come back to get you." I know .....I am crying too!
Well, we met a little girl who Sasha "likes"...the one I told him that looks like Karley. He said,
"Mama, America....sister." He gets the cutest little grin around her. After I realized that he "likes" her, I said...."Sasha, if she is your sister and we adopt her, you can't marry her." haha..he just smiled his cute little smile.
We truly are asking if we can adopt more...but our dumb dossier says only one child. We are looking into some things. If you were here, you could never go home with just one child.
When we said good bye to Sasha today, we tried to take him directly to his "sleeping quarters," but we had to leave him in the hands of the enemy.....the guy who is completely against us, intercepted him and took him. We said, "Good bye Sasha....we love you." Then walked away shaking our heads in disbelief. Two steps forward, three steps backwards.....but God is in Control.....
Thank you Lord for getting us through this day....we love you all!
m and j
We went to see sasha and noticed that he was a little bit "off" again today. little did we know that the guy who kelsey had been praying for is still working against us. He is so very kind to us and tells us about how he is the american history teacher...but yet he doesn't teach american history in his world history class. He said they won't let him....not sure if maybe he just doesn't want to teach that. Anyway, Sasha was a bit different again today because of pressure from him and others.
Jeff and he had sooooo much fun again on the playground playing with guns and getting a few other boys involved. The other little boys were having a great time too, chasing and playing with papa and sasha. Jeff told Sasha that he was giving his gun up and to let the other little boys use them to come and capture papa. They chased him and got him....jeff walked up with his hands behind his head....haha. Soon afterwards, a teacher came and began yelling at the other little boys. They don't like the kids to have fun here.....and they get mad when they act like kids..... it seems like. Anyway, little did Jeff know that while he was playing outside, his wife was having an anxiety attack in the bathroom. We had heard the assistant administrator talking about a "crazy bathroom." "You can get in but you can't get out." Well, Misty got stuck in there...for 40 minutes. I was actually texting my kids and was asking kyle and karley to call daddy to see if they could call him and get him to come help me. Anyway, finally after i was knocking softly, began banging on the door. The Assistant Administrator came to the door and was yelling in "ukrainaian." I was crying at that point....had actually been talking to you too brenda perrill.....via international texting..but didn't want to upset you and tell you i was locked in bathroom. haha. Karley and Kyle had tried to call Jeff since I couldn't get through on my American phone ...but to no avail. Finally I was rescued.
The mean stepmother...I mean Assistant Director, took me back upstairs to our sweet Ksenia...our adorable little girl who may truly be our guardian angel. She yelled at Ksenia for not being a "good worker." She said she should have kept an eye out for me. omg....what a nutty place!
So we had a very sad day....skyped with my sweet little karley and then couldn't stop crying! I was sooooo homesick. I tried to stay focused today but actually went to the bathroom to have a good cry. Little did I know that I would be in this stinky little place for 40 minutes.
I miss our kids and family and friends so much. I asked Jeff if he was okay...he said, "I just can't go there." It is very hard and making us very weary! We will be strong and I think about how strong Sasha has to be....so we can endure.
Sasha is still getting a lot of resistance. He is lying to people saying that he hasn't decided yet, because he doesn't want to have to explain and say ,"Yes, I'm going to America." Anyway, we will say good bye to him next Thursday or Friday and return to America for a short time.Sasha is so strong and God is giving Him such strength....it has to be God. OMG, these kids have so much against them. There is one little boy and girl who have been hosted 3 times but will not agree to adoption because they think their mom is still coming for them. Someone is lying to them, because their parents are not on the birth certificate and once the mama had the daughter or son (I'm not sure which) they left the hospital and have never been found. No one knows who their parents are and will never know...but they are being fooled by a person at the orphanage who doesn't want them to leave...saying...."you're mom will come back to get you." I know .....I am crying too!
Well, we met a little girl who Sasha "likes"...the one I told him that looks like Karley. He said,
"Mama, America....sister." He gets the cutest little grin around her. After I realized that he "likes" her, I said...."Sasha, if she is your sister and we adopt her, you can't marry her." haha..he just smiled his cute little smile.
We truly are asking if we can adopt more...but our dumb dossier says only one child. We are looking into some things. If you were here, you could never go home with just one child.
When we said good bye to Sasha today, we tried to take him directly to his "sleeping quarters," but we had to leave him in the hands of the enemy.....the guy who is completely against us, intercepted him and took him. We said, "Good bye Sasha....we love you." Then walked away shaking our heads in disbelief. Two steps forward, three steps backwards.....but God is in Control.....
Thank you Lord for getting us through this day....we love you all!
m and j
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